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This lady thinks repeatedly pushing the already-lit elevator button will summon it faster. I think I’ll push ALL the buttons when we get in.
Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents. The second half will be ruined by our children
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
Let`s be honest, we all have someone on Facebook we wanna bang...with a pan.
If you think your having a bad day ... You could be digging your own grave at gun point and find buried treasure.
I`ve found the most effective way to get an attractive guy to fall for me is by simply using my charm... and then a stun gun.
I`m so hungry I could eat without looking down at my phone.
Money went much further in the 1980s when you could peel the price stickers off milk cartons and stick them on anything you needed
"I want to be cuddled, but I want to be alone. Being crazy is hard." - WOMEN
I run a non-profit company. It`s not for a good cause or anything, I`m just not very good at business.
I`ve seen bride magazines but have yet to see "Eager Groom" magazines.
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything.
I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them
My 5 year plan is to watch Netflix. All of it.