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I hate it when a website greets me with a pop-up window. It just feels like you should say hi first, maybe buy me a drink.
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
If a bra is called an `Over the shoulder bolder holder,` then would you call men`s underwear `Under the butt nut hut?`
Going to: ? Paris ? New York ? London ? KITCHEN... I`m hungry
I have 500 friends and only 499 Birthday wishes on facebook! I`ll remember that when it`s YOUR birthday #405!!!
I hope I never go to jail because I haven`t memorized a phone number since 2001
Today is the first day of the rest of my Vodka.
The difference between beer and your opinion is that I asked for a beer.
Some days the only thought that stops me from being Dexter...is that I am WAY too pretty to go to prison
What I lack in sex appeal I make up in staying home and drinking.
I`m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
I don’t want to think I’m getting old or anything, but all the noises I used to make during sex, I now make getting out of bed.
WARNING: Every single thing I post from here on in, is alcohol induced.
Starting a sentence with “If you ask me” almost always indicates that no one asked you.
Of course I`m crazy, but that doesn`t mean I`m wrong