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Best thing about being single… -no drama -no fighting -no crying -no feelings -no confusion -no worries -no PROBLEMS!
Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
Don`t ask me stupid questions and I won`t hurt your stupid feelings.
All shoes are technically buy one get one free...
I stay up late every night and realize it was a bad idea every morning.
If someone says you`re not a mermaid, don`t talk to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity in your life.
Ladies, Admit it. Sometimes you look down at your own boobs and think "Wow, these are Awesome!"
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a medication bottle and see "May cause extreme sexiness."
I`m pretty sure if you watched a movie of my life backwards it probably would be about a guy who refills beer cans and puts them in the fridge.
My package finally came today. this is awesome....it means I have bubble wrap to play with
I find the best way to get rid of headaches is to send them either to their rooms or outside to play.
I wouldn`t say I "missed" your call.
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
I am convinced God only created six days and the devil added Monday.
When I say "Have a nice day." Remember the f*cker on the end is silent.