Daily Silly Status

There is always something to be thankful for. If you can’t pay your bills, you can be thankful you are not one of your creditors.

I wish I could use Shazam to identify people when I cant remember their name.

Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists.

I`m working out my budget and, provided I don`t live past Tuesday, I can retire relatively comfortably!!!

They`ve got this brand new machine at the gym. I only used it for about an hour because I started to feel sick, but it`s awesome - it`s got Mars Bars, KitKat Chunkys, Cheetos, crisps.... everything!

Walmart is one store where it is truly acceptable to shop in your pajamas.

The grass is always greener over the septic tank

I liked you a lot more before I met you.

One way to know if someone is lying to you is if their facial mole is in a different place every time you see them

She likes to call it a conversation, but mostly she`s gathering evidence.

I decided I really need to read more. I watch way to much TV ... So I turned on the subtitles.

The synonym for `reality` is `offline`

I bought a book called `How to become an expert at Origami`. So far, I`ve made 1000 paper snowballs.

Fun Prank: Put $1000 in an envelope and mail it to me.

So I danced like no one was watching. My court date is pending.