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"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.
Still waiting for a Discovery Channel "How It`s Made" episode on babies.
The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can`t hear you" over and over
If you like someone, pretend they`re a charger and you`re an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor.
"Rear facing, pedal activated photon cannon" sounds much more badass than "brake lights"
Went into a five-star hotel to use the bathroom and now it`s a two-star hotel.
We had a power outage last week and my PC, TV and games console shut down immediately, so I had to talk to my family for a few hours. They seem like nice people.
When I see something funny on the internet, I don’t usually laugh. I just blow more air out of my nose than usual.
at this point in life I break my life down into 2 time periods B.N and A.N....Before Netflix and After Netflix
If I was famous I would just knock on peoples doors and be like ... Hello, yes it`s me.
Whenever I drive past the psychic’s empty parking lot, I think, if I was psychic I would only be open on the days I knew people were coming.
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them,The police call it indecent exposure but whatever...
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.
I got Mood Poisoning. Must have been something I hate.