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If people don`t occasionally walk away from you shaking their heads, you`re doing something wrong.
Summer is almost over...All you half-naked people are gonna need to find a personality.
Your selfie would be way better if you weren`t in it.
Alcohol: Because no good story starts with “So this one time I was eating a salad….”
The problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude about the problem.
A simpler, more believable theory is that all the dinosaurs got married and just quit having sex all together.
The more photos you have to untag, the better the weekend was.
I saw a sign at a cafe that said, "shoes must be worn." I was upset, because my shoes were brand new.
Saying something stupid and thinking “Yeah, that sounded way better in my head"
How can there be more horses asses than there are horses?
I may be stupid but im also dumb! :D
Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self centered lives already in progress.
All my dance moves look like i`m trying to tell the guy on first base to steal second
I secretly like days when none of my Facebook friends have birthdays.
Microsoft Excel has got to be the worlds worst video game.