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I propose we change the names of the upper case P and lower case p to "P standing up" and "p sitting down."
There is nothing louder than a party across the street that you weren’t invited to.
The best moments in life are the ones you don`t tell anyone about.
Alcohol doesn´t solve any problems ... but then again, neither does milk.
I don`t believe in karma, but I do believe in punching people in the face.
Whenever you`re feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there`s people that pay money to exercise.
Facebook: Making stalking people much more convenient since 2004.
I can`t tell if I`m really nice but secretly an a$$hole or an a$$hole but secretly really nice.
Apparently typos only become visible to the human eye after you hit send.
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper place mats with puzzles...GAME ON!!
Let`s be honest. The only reason you listen to your voice-mail messages is to make the stupid icon disappear
Today`s Big Idea: Coffee eye drops.
Facebook keeps telling me people are following me. But, every time I look behide me there`s nobody there? Why does facebook keep lying to me?
They say children are a gift from god. I`m totally wide-open to regifting.
What the world needs is a self help movie, cause lets face it, most of us won`t buy the book.