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Keep the dream alive......... Hit the snooze button.
I like pressing F5. It`s so refreshing.
In actuality, Batman is just a more violent and dark version of Inspector Gadget.
Timeouts just give children a quiet place to plot your murder.
Don`t tell me what to do unless you`re naked.
I`ve never said "in all seriousness" and actually meant it.
When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn`t doing the same thing.
Holiday Tip #236: When hosting a covered dish holiday dinner where everyone brings something, never put a skinny person in charge of desserts.
You know you have anger-management issues when you use an entire can of fly spray at point blank range to kill the tinest of moths...
If there is a wrong place and a wrong time, I’ll be there.
Don’t get me started. I don’t come with brakes.
YOU WANNA PIECE OF THIS!?!?! ~me, aggressively handing out cake
Whenever I hear someone call my name, my first instinct is to walk faster
I entered what I ate for lunch into my calorie counting app and it uninstalled itself.
I don`t understand the saying "you snooze you lose"... I hit the snooze button 8 times this morning and feel like a champion.