Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Of all the bands named after handicapped jungle animals, Def Leppard is my favorite.
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like Facebook in real life.
I have many talents, but giving an f*ck isn’t one of them
Dear Noah, we could have sworn you said the arc wasn`t leaving until 5. Sincerely, unicorns.
Behind every great woman there is a man who loves doggystyle.
Not to brag, but I don`t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
Barbie has an awful lot of things for a girl who`s knees don`t bend.
Calling someone "stupid" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it`s just a diagnosis.
I`m so broke right now that if someone tried to rob me, they`d just be practising..
I know it`s 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
Girlfriend: You`re acting like a little kid. Me: What do mean, little kids can`t drink.
Who am I calling stupid?? Good question.... What`s your name?!
When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirins and keep away from children, just like the bottle says.
I won employee of the month!!!…. again! I love being self employed.
I thought we had nothing in common until I saw you buying 3 margaritas at a time.