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I wish the "Do not ask me again" option existed in real life.
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying free samples at the grocery store. Just make sure they’re samples. And free. And it’s a grocery store.
At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.
Guys i did not copy or edit this status of mine.Please believe this is my own idea!
If the Terminator was female the line would have been, “I might be back, I haven’t decided yet.”
“Knock him out.” – Mama
Proposing to a woman isn’t like choosing a life-long business partner. It’s more like hiring your own boss.
There is no number for what just happened in that bathroom.
Choosing A Career Is Like Chosing A Wife From 10 Girls. Even If You Pick The Most Beautiful, Intelligent, Kindest Woman, There`s Still Pain Of Losing The Other 9
Hey guys with your phone in a hip holster, is it because your purse is too full with tampons?
Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I`ll be watching you. - Dog
“Dad, I’m hungry.” “Hi, Hungry. I’m Dad.” - Every time.
"What`s wrong?" "Oh it`s personal" Then, why`d you post it to Facebook.
If you go to dinner alone always ask for a table for two. Look sad as you eat and you will almost always get a free dessert
Don’t be scared of making changes. Be scared of living the same shitty life because you didn’t change. And spiders. Be scared of them too.