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How come know-it-alls, don`t know how annoying they are?
Three decades of playing Tetris have apparently not improved our nation`s ability to stow overhead luggage.
i think lady gaga puts glue on herself, and rolls around random items.
I am a little worried that every "evacuation route" sign is leading away from my house.
It`s a beautiful Spring day to get outside and stare at your phone.
If I suddenly had the ability to teleport, I’d spend an entire day popping up naked in front of people and asking for John Connor.
I love everybody. Some I love to be around. Some I love to avoid. And some I’d love to punch them in the face.
Congratulations! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
Next time you see someone you don`t like, begin conversation with "I see the assassins have failed."
This donut scented car freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
If everybody was consistently as determined as they are when they carry all groceries in one trip, this world would be in a better place.
I do love you for your mind, I just like your mind a lot more when you’re naked.
Jake from State Farm works some very crappy hours.
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those medications.
Smelling another person should be a choice.