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You can learn a lot about a girl by ignoring her text messages.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
I go both ways. I like hard AND soft tacos.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn’t that make life fair?
You need a high five, in the face, with a chair.
I remember when going viral meant having to tell several people they better get tested.
The hour that we lose this weekend is the one that I was planning on going to the gym.
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
My brain contains a few things I should know and the rest is just song lyrics.
yes I have a dirty mind, and yes you are in it...
I am fluent in three languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm
For the love of God, single people, stop looking for love or you`ll end up married.
That awkward moment when you forget what you’re watching during the commercial break.