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So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
I`m actually a really good driver, when Facebook is down.
Was sitting, doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
Why isn’t “cheating” a relationship status on Facebook?
Your secrets are safe with me, because I probably wasn’t listening to begin with.
Whenever someone says, "Have a good one." I always respond with, "I have a good one, I just wish it were longer."
Fox canceled Cops. So I guess if I want to stay current on what my family is up to now, I`ll have to turn to Facebook.
Nothing is more heartbreaking than unappreciated sarcasm!
I may hate waiting. But I love procastinating.
I`m tired of people assuming I`ve got a good personality because I`m ugly.
Huh, So you are telling me that these straps on the side of the mattress are for moving the mattress? And not for what I`ve been using them for all this time?
I hate when people say, "I gotta get my body right for the summer." ...like, wtf are you going to do about your face???
If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
I need to stop lying to myself ... This bag of Reese cups will never make it to Halloween
"nice crocs. where did you get them?" - nobody ever