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When I was a kid they didn`t call it "Behavioral Disorders", They called it "Being a little brat".
I once tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck up my nose.
A fun way to give your man a little scare is to ask him, "Do you know what tomorrow is?" and watch the panic set in.
I’m still waiting for the episode of Storage Wars where there’s a homeless guy living in the unit.
It’s not that I don’t care what you’re saying; I was just thinking about food.
Gray hair is the human body`s equivalent of low toner.
If you ever feel sad and blue, just remember that somewhere in the world, there`s a fat kid who just dropped his ice-cream.
You make me wanna be a better stalker. No, seriously. Slow the f*ck down.
Our brain took two billion years to evolve. Two billion trips around the Sun. All so humans can use it to look at kittens on the Internet.
After a night of heavy drinkin’ there’s one thing I can’t stand… and that’s up.
Karma may "work" but I think that bitch takes a lot of days off
If it makes you feel better, don’t call it “Premature Ejaculation.” Call it “Speed Dating”
I saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as "grabbing for swirling dollars inside a Plexiglas Cash Cube."
They said money can`t by happiness. But it can buy tattoos, car parts, and beer. What else could we need?
gua suka sama kamu