Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33.3% chance you are being used as a napkin.
If you try and don´t succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
The best thing about telepathy is…I know, right?
Normal trees probably look at Christmas trees all dolled up and think .. "Whore"
Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making.
Perverts can contribute to society. Look at the disturbed individual who discovered cow`s milk.
Does anyone know how much water I`m supposed to add to this baby powder, to make an infant?
You know that chick who said, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?"... Yeah, well I ate her.
I feel so lazy.. Lazy as the guy who created the Japanese flag
The Bible is Christianity’s Terms of Service. Nobody actually reads it, but as long as u agree to everything in it, u can use the Heaven app
Make BIG mistakes in life. Those people are remembered forever. On Youtube.
If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
I’ve finally decided to do something about my weight ... Lie.
I wonder if the girls on "16 and pregnant," will come back on "32 and a Grandma."
People who sit and talk while their pizza is gets cold gives me anxiety.