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I think the cats are hording all the single women out there...
You want to piss off a woman? Hide one shoe.
Dating Tip: If you eat a magnet and slip another magnet into your date`s drink she`ll never be able to leave you
They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn`t mean to eat it. I don`t want to be a bug.
Sometimes I order fajitas at a restaurant just to get more attention.
Revenge is not in my plans. You`ll f*ck yourself on your own.
Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.
My Ex updated her status to "standing on the edge of a cliff" So I "poked" her!
Ever been in the middle of writing a great post and think, did I just run someone over?
didn`t get much sleep last night, I tried counting sheep but they kept cutting in line, confused the hell outta me!!
I stopped paying my car payments to concentrate on my dream of appearing on a Repo show.
Just heard some guy yell "F**K!" ... I thought this was impressive because not many people can pronounce asterisks.
The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
I find myself highly addicted to books as of late. Once I start coloring the first few pages I can`t stop....
First rule of Pizza club, you don’t share it.