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Okay, let’s get this straight. There’s no way everone here has the best boyfriend in the world.
You health nuts are gonna feel real stupid when you`re laying in the hospital dying of nothing.
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I don`t always agree with everything I say. :)
Every so often I’ll listen to my wife talk non stop for hours at a time, to remind myself why people wander into traffic without looking.
Lucky Charms should be 98% Marshmallows and 2% of that other sh*t.
What do crickets hear when they have an awkward silence?
I’ve already decided, if I ever go to The Price Is Right, I’m gonna “come on down” whether they call my name or not.
You know your old when your back goes out more than you do.
Whenever my wife sings I have to go outside. Not to get away from her, but to prove to my neighbors I`m not beating her.
I don`t know if my stomach is growling cuz I`m hungry or if that`s my liver crying cuz it`s the weekend.
Facebook keeps telling me people are following me. But, every time I look behide me there`s nobody there? Why does facebook keep lying to me?
If you`re not the lead dog, the scenery never changes!
Looks like you have a lot on your mind. Do you wanna drink about it?
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.