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To whom it may concern: I need more money and power ... ASAP thanks!
Still waiting for the day I can illegally download groceries
Job interview: Please tell us why you’d love to work for us? ME: I need money :)
I wish we had staff meetings in the garden. The plants would`ve love the fertilizer.
It’s impressive how quickly I can go from full to starving.
"She really does suck!" could be a complement in the porn industry
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I’m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
I legitimately thought I was having a pretty productive day until I realized my phone is set to west coast time and I`m in New York.
Shout out to people who are hard of hearing.
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
I`m sorry if I come across as crude, outspoken, and opinionated. That`s only because I am crude, outspoken, and opinionated.
Coffee gives me the illusion I`m actually awake
You`d think by episode 133 the Scooby Doo gang would know it`s a guy in a costume every time.
New favorite term: Multislacking. It’s nice to find a name for something you’re good at.
I want to sleep tighter