Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If my "friends" post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.
Whoever said imitation is the sincerest form of flattery hasn`t had a 7yo mimicking their every word for the last 10 minutes.
No one wants to hear about your diet. Just eat your salad and be sad.
So she asked me "Do these pants make my butt look big?" And I said, "Not at all dear .. its the fat that does that." So now I´m single again.
Those teardrop tattoos mean you cried during the notebook, right?
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
If you lack motivation, get on treadmill naked in front of mirror.
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
The song "Take me out to the Ballgame" is sung almost exclusively by people who are already at a ballgame.
if it has tits or tires sooner or later it will give you problems.
New marital Status update : Taken, but only for GRANTED
LIKE if you check your phone to see what time it is and then check it again because the first time you weren’t paying attention.
I think I`m going to run for political office, so people can dig up dirt on me. I have been wanting to piece together my twenties.
It only takes one person to ruin it for everyone...Be that person.
If you really can make $10,000 a month working from home why would anyone take the harder job of nailing those signs to trees?