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Be careful, there is also plenty of mentally unstable fish in the sea.
Whoever says "you need two to tango" obviously hasn`t seen me drunk.
Hurricanes, Fires,Tiger running loose ... Whoever is playing Jumanji needs to wrap it up
Alcohol increases the Send Button size by 89%.
Our sex was so good, the neighbors smoked after we finished.
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
I`m pretty sure there`s a chip in my car that turns all traffic lights RED...
Half of me is a hopeless romantic. And the other half of me is, well, an asshole.
The Internet: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.
There`s a big difference between a mechanic and a surgeon when they work on a tranny.
Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV
Me: Mom...Dad. I`ve decided to live on my own from now on. Parents: ok, cool. Me: Your luggage is outside
I’m in big trouble if my coworkers find out that I really don’t have Tourette’s
Reverse cowgirl. Perfect for when you`re horny, but can`t stand to look at each other !