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I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive ..."Hi"
i am not so think, as you drunk i am
Is the CEO of Kraft also known as The Big Cheese?
Today I will kick a$$, and make dreams happen...but first, Coffee.
Why would you pay $80 for a bra at Victoria’s Secret when I can hold your boobs up all day for free.
I bet Batman`s cape gets stuck in the car door more times than he admits.
Repeat after me: It doesn’t matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won’t solve it.
Soccer is just like my sex life. Long periods of time with no action followed by pure shock & surprise by all parties involved when I score.
I know the voices aren`t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas.
Seems like you must have been pretty stupid to get caught for murder in the 1800s
Don`t half a$$ it. It`s not a real nap unless you take your pants off.
I think it`s about time Taylor Swift wrote a song called "Maybe I`m the Problem"
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
I tried counting sheep to get to sleep, but one was missing and now I’m gonna be up all night worrying.
Some people are flirting with my delete & block button