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Sometimes all you need is $500 million dollars.
Do you really know me or am I just an idea that you`ve built in your head?
Sign: "No alcohol past this point." Translation: Bet you can`t chug this entire beer, right now.
There`s a special place in hell reserved for the guy that decided what time McDonalds beakfast ends.
My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?" I said, "No it doesn`t."
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess.
I solve all my problems by creating three new ones as distractions.
Sometimes a special someone walks right into your life and helps you realize how much better your life was before they walked into it.
You’re one of those women that my mom warned me about…Here’s my number.
Take time to reflect upon your day. Think of all the blessings you received, and everything you may be called to testify about :)))
Hi you`ve reached my voicemail,,, Please leave your name, number and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn`t be done over text
Happy 4th of July ! ... It`s a holiday. You know what that means... Ten million status updates saying the exact same thing. Get ready.
My husband picks fights with me like he doesn`t even value half of all his assets.
Thank God for Facebook otherwise we would never know what fireworks look like.
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.