Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Of all the things I have lost in life I mis my mind the most
A wise man, will often say nothing
Grab the bull by the horns. The other end is too gross...
I used to dream about becoming an astronaut. Now I just dream that there`s still time before the alarm goes off.
"Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam
My toddler gets pretty impatient with me for someone who takes 45 minutes to eat an egg.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
I hate it when I`m trying to take a selfie and somebody calls my camera.
My last request: At my funeral, someone come up at the end and padlock my coffin shut, just to freak everyone out.
My wife says I should use the term "make love" instead of "f*ck.". What the make love is she talking about?
It`s hard to focus on a home workout when your home also contains a refrigerator full of delicious food
People without kids: I`ll never yell at my kids ... People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD, JUST WALK!
why we do not have a romance class...............
is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what it´s all about
Just spent like 5 hours talking to my neighbor about his garden and long story short, turns out it was just a f*cking scarecrow.