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Types of like on facebook: 1.Stalker like. 2.Crush like. 3.I wanna bang you like. 4.Agree like 5.Pity like.
I won`t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri, "What do women want?" She`s been talking for the last 2 days and doesn`t seem ready to shut up anytime soon.
"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I`d been invited to an autopsy.
If your talking behind my back then guess what? Your in a pretty good position to kiss my a$$!!!!
If I owned a copy store I would only hire identical twins.
Don`t bother trying to figure me out...not even the little voices in my head understand me...it`s pointless.
Whatever Mom, IF THAT`S EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!!!
If a$$holes could fly, this place would be an airport
The cop said it was an outstanding warrant, dad! And you said I`d never amount to anything...
If anyone knows Phillip tell him I have a bunch of his screwdrivers.
I`m broker than the Tooth Fairy in a house full of Meth addicts.
If I get a million likes on Facebook......not a damn thing will change.
"Don`t let a hot date turn into a due date."--my father`s actual sex talk with me when I was 13.
Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is police.