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"I`m on my way." -People who haven`t even left the house yet.
Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.
You must have been born on a highway. Most accidents take place there.
I don`t always agree with everything I say. :)
Sometimes I wish you could ask the pharmacist to "make it a double".
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night... In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
Somehow, hitting the "end call" button on the cell phone just doesn`t feel nearly as good as the old days when you could slam the phone down on somebody.
I’m not a schizophrenic… At least, that’s what all the voices tell me.
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
Whenever i see a facebook page Celebrate; "We have reached 200K fans". I just ask myself, do they know how many of those 200K died or left facebook or can`t remember their password after they liked the page?
didn`t get much sleep last night, I tried counting sheep but they kept cutting in line, confused the hell outta me!!
Someone offered me grapes, but I declined. I`m not used to consuming wine in pill form.
I thought about exercising all day long. I am so exhausted.
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
Bank called asking if my credit card had been stolen. They were concerned because it hadn`t been used at the liquor store since Friday.