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Once in a while you meet a person that makes you smile when you think about them. They`re trouble. Stay away from them.
I cant remember the last time i forgot something
If you can`t think of a word, say "I forget the English word for it". That way people will think you`re bilingual instead of an idiot.
Some will forget, the others are simply women.
On average I spend $75 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
There is no life on earth without water. Because without water, there is no coffee. And without coffee, I`ll kill you all.
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
You know what`s beautiful? Read the first word again.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they can`t laugh either.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
The longer I stay at home. The more homeless looking I look.
Keep honking. I´m reloading.
Don’t compare yourself to others, that’s when you start to lose confidence in yourself.
I don’t just act crazy, I’ll drive you there too.
I think the lady at the movies is "shushing" me, but I can`t tell because I`m eating Doritos.