Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
"Don`t try this at home" encourages people to try it at another`s home instead.
Movies are so unrealistic. This guy`s using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade his Adobe.
The sperm bank is overpriced to store my stuff so if you come over, don`t use the cloudy ice cubes from the tray labelled "Future Champions"
There is no harm in imitating a porn movie. But stopping in between because you are imitating the buffering part (!), is unacceptable.
If someone posts a picture of their kid on Facebook making a stupid face, I like to comment with, "Oh, NOW I see the resemblance!"
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don`t make the rules.
Childhood is like being drunk: Everyone remembers what you did except you.
Haters gunna hate,potatoes gunna patate!!
In order for three people to keep a secret, two must be dead!
Just once I`d like a doctor to tell me I`m not getting enough beer in my diet.
Im out like a fat kid playing dodge ball
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head.
I’ve taken off my pants in most malls that I’ve been to.
I don`t always do a lot, but I put a lot of thought into it.