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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Damn boy! Are you a slinky? Cause I wanna wanna push you down a flight of stairs, then kick you when you stop halfway to the bottom.
This cat poop tastes like I`m about to get yelled at -Dogs
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Who cares about throwing stones? How do people in glass houses hide when somebody knocks on the door?
You know what’s more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.
Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don`t have long.
FB friends, please let me know if you own one of those cool little Smart cars so I can unfriend you.
Facebook: Making stalking people much more convenient since 2004.
I do not argue, I explain why I’m right.
I don`t care if its a scam! Just the fact that the Prince of Nigeria sends me personal email makes me feel special!
Working in retail has taught me that the customer is always right. At least while they`re in earshot...
I`m a big advocate of the `You started it` method of defense in an argument.
Girl scout cookies suck! I ate like 20 boxes of thin mints and I`m not any thinner.
It would be funny if the husband is actually sleeping with the Jake from state Farm.
If you`re crazy and you know it shake your meds...