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A good lawyer knows the law. An excellent one knows the judge.
is available for rebound sex.
You`re never too old to learn something stupid.
No one wants to hear about your diet. Just eat your salad and be sad.
I`ve come to believe that everyone on Earth could benefit from a 12 step program.
Social Media Awkwardness: When people "like" a relationship status of being single by your ex instead of yours.
Who me? Oh I`m just waiting for my husband to apologize for something I did wrong...marriage is fun
If you ever need nothing I am here for you.
Why is it called cat nip and not meowjuana?
I bet there`s a rapper trying to figure out a way to replace his teeth with LED lights
A court date is still technically a date, right?
I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it
I wish there was a way to find out how many boners you’ve caused in a lifetime, I wanna check my stats.
When I was a boy, Mom would send me down to the corner store with $1 and I would get 5 bags of potatoes, 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk, some cheese and 6 eggs. You can`t do that now, to many damn security cameras!
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.