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Either I need to up my dosage or my income.
Don`t forget: it`s very important what strangers on the Internet think about you.
IM LOST! I`ve gone to look for my self. If u see me, tell me to wait here till I get back.
Nice try, blocked number but I don`t even answer the phone for people I know.
I`m starting group meetings at my house for people who have OCD, not because I have it, but surely one of them will be bothered enough to clean it.
I always tell new hires, don`t think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you`re ass
Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs.
The problem with plants is that you have to water them… like more than once apparently.
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
I can’t find the words to express how I have nothing to say
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much shit to carry.
Unless you tripped and smacked your face on the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.
When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep in til noon, because I’m a problem solver.
I feel bad for the photons that travel 93 million miles from the sun and then have to bounce off your stupid face.
I`m at my most popular when I just want to be alone.