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I was driving to work this morning and saw a bumper sticker that said, "Jesus is the answer." A few minutes later I saw another bumper sticker that said, "Who farted?" That was the best game of Highway Jeopardy ever!
We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
Salad tastes pretty good once you add some pizza and get rid of the salad.
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn`t for any religious reasons. They couldn`t find three wise men and a virgin.
This status is mine....I licked it.
Ohh sh!t, my b!tch button is stuck.
I bought a Tempurpedic mattress just so that I’d have an excuse to go to sleep with a giant glass of wine every night.
As long as there is an open textbook in front of you, nobody will question what you are doing on your laptop.
I`m combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I`m sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven`t hidden.
Roasting marshmallows is great because it combines dessert and playing with fire.
Why are Doctors so afraid of apples?
Can`t believe people still say "pot" it`s not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
You shouldn`t be allowed to wear animal print if you are bigger than said animal.
Hope dogs are kissing us and not trying to see if we started tasting good yet.