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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Playing Frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a Frisbee.
I like surprises. Not the `finger in my a$$ without permission` kind, but flowers are always nice.
Have you ever laid down in bed and start thinking.. Where the hell are my pants!!??
Does eating a gas station hot dog counts as a suicide attempt.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do.
So much to do and so few alibis.
I love talking about nothing. It’s the only thing I know anything about.
A friend came over visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them.
why were you in my dreams again? i`m starting to think you`re stalking me.
So far,,, I`ve spent 300% of this week exaggerating.
Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices
I think I speak for everyone when I say we hate being spoken for.
homework wont kill me, but why take the risk!
Cats would be even more stuck up if they knew how much the internet loves them.
The institutions won`t take me so I am all yours.