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Why can`t braille just be in the shape of the letters?
All guys should learn from Mario Bros. No matter how far their princess is, they should go after her.
I make way more decisions than I should based on the battery life of my phone.
Out of all the lies I`ve ever told, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
Momma left strict instructions to knock you out.
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today, we removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to change...
I`m glad I know sign language. It`s pretty handy.
If my "check engine" light would check my wallet, it would know there`s nothing I can do about it.
People be like… I will love you unconditionally on one condition.
I got so drunk last night I tried picking up every woman in the bar and now my back is killing me!
If you died and went to he!l, how long will it take you to realise that you aren`t still at work?
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
People who cook Hot Pockets in the oven, Where are you getting all this free time?
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?