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Who´s up for Candyland? $20 buy in
Every time I use a public bathroom, I always wonder why so many people have Sharpies on them at all times.
I tried to make both ends meet, but I`m a poor judge of distance.
I often wondered what it`d be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while...
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
There are no problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.
Lord, it`s me... Can you close your eyes for a couple minutes while I deal with a slight problem?
If you get angry, just relax, take a deep breath and count to ten, unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
Strange new trend at work. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Yesterday I ate a tuna sandwich named Jennifer.
On a scale from 0 to insane I`m batman
I try not to limit my madness to March.
B is the best letter of the alphabet: Boobs, Buns, Booty, Booze, Beer, Bourbon, and Bacon.
People with no money sure do have a lot of pot.
Is it just me, or did anyone else wake up on the SEXY side of the bed this morning?