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I`m sorry I slapped you. It`s just you seemed like you weren`t going to stop talking and I panicked.
A man who took an Airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.
The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
The only reason I liked your post was because I was trying to clean a smudge off my screen.
Do you ever get bored on the internet and then grab your phone to see what the other, smaller internet is up to?
Starbucks announced guns are no longer allowed in their stores. Seems crazy banks didn`t think of this.
You never hear skinny people saying, "I`m just small boned."
I used to be a terrible flirt ... I am much better at it now.
At the start of every relationship many girls treat their boys as a GOD but later the alphabets are reversed
Is it bad when Iām talking to myself and Iām not even listening?
I like to say "Do I smell popcorn?" right after I fart ..that way everyone quickly takes a deep breathe.
Asking me if Iām hungry, is like asking me if I like money.
Vodka: Taking you from a 6 to a 10 in five easy shots
Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you`re doing it.
wishes that more people would declare thumb wars these days. I`m sure that all this texting has prepared my thumb muscles for battle.