Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Had a blast doing my Black Friday tradition!!!! I slept!
I hate it when the movie trailer is better than the movie itself.
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk while it´s still snowing
Shopping for bridesmaid dresses with 5 other women, today. If you never hear from me again, I committed suicide by nail file.
I would like to congratulate my ex`s new boyfriend on giving up blow jobs.
Why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo? Who has hair on their shoulders? Who`s shampooing their shoulder hair? ... please come forward.
If your wife asks you if you know where the broom is, it`s not a good idea to ask her if she is going somewhere.
If "The Breakfast Club" were made today, it would be a silent film about 5 kids staring at their phones.
When everything else fails... you always have delusion.
Time to be an adult and give up my bath time rubber ducky. I´m upgrading to the tugboat!
The awkward moment when you’re not sure if something is your actual memory or if your brain made it up.
Every day is a constant battle of trying to convince myself I don’t like cookies.
At what number beer are you offically not working from home anymore?
If I say "I don`t know, let me look", I`m really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you`re on hold.