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My train of thought likes to circle around the station a few times, take some wrong turns, and end up totally lost.
I heard an ex got run down by a bus today. I thought "Wow, that could have been me!" But then, I can`t drive a bus..
I`d rather spend 5 minutes reorganizing the dishwasher, than spend the 10 seconds it takes to wash the dish that doesn`t fit.
thinks whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never been to a nude beach!!
My new bumper sticker ... "Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Mall kiosk employees are basically human pop up ads.
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in digust, but deep down inside they want some.
Hello...
"Last man standing" is the winner in most contests, but the runner up in musical chairs.
Hitting on women at this PTA meeting would probably be easier if I actually had a kid at this school.
Overheard at grocery: Paper or plastic, sir? Doesn’t matter. Im bisacksual.
I just wanted to send you a quick note letting you know that you`re in my inappropriate thoughts.
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling
You`re always ahead of schedule when it comes to disappointing me.
Roses are cars, violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Eyeballs.