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The only difference between the 13yr old me and the 28yr old me is that my kool-aid now contains vodka.
Nobody wants to know your diet. So shut up, eat your lettuce and be sad.
I just want to find someone who will love me for exactly who I am pretending to be.
Ever seen a person so disgusting you hold your breath when you walk by them? Yea I have.
Please respect the revolving door speed that has already been established.
If you`re going to have opinions on my life, then I am assuming you will be paying some of the bills.
Quick Hide! Monday is Coming!!
Life Rule #17: Always hold out your hand when someone is counting money in front of you, ...just incase.
"It gotten SOOO cold in D.C., politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets!"
When a guy says "I`m Fine" what he is really trying to say is that he is fine.
There`s a time and a place for non-alcoholic beer. Never, and down the drain.
I`m going to become a hermit as soon as I find a cave with a decent wifi connection.
Wow, it`s beautiful outside. I should probably do something. Like close the blinds so there isn`t a glare on my screen.
I just hope people who say "Jesus is my co-pilot" realize he`s a 1st century carpenter with no time in a flight simulator.
The 4 stages of a relationship: 1. I like you 2. I love you 3. I hate you 4. Arson