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Summer vacation: Where you drink triple, see double and act single.
Yesterday I had to screw in a light bulb . Later, I crossed a road and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.
Did you know that if you put a finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Pacman.
I hate when beggars rattle their cup full of coins at me. Yes i know! You have more money than me, you don`t have to rub it in..
I can`t wait to procrastinate.
I`m thinkin` Dodgeball........... but with random people..........who don`t know they are playing.............
I`m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data
Life is far too short to remove the USB safely.
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
cuss words = sentence enhancers
I wish I was as skinny as I was the first time I thought I was fat.
Running shoes? No, I don`t run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
uncle Sam can`t be related to me because family wouldn`t do me like this.
I don’t just act crazy, I’ll drive you there too.
I am a gentleman, based on the clubs I go to.