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"Check, please!" - Me, at a restaurant begging the waiter to make sure there are no monsters under the table
The only difference between fear and adventure is how much you breathe.
Its all fun and games until you realize your Capri Sun has no straw.
The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
Facebook: Saving us money on birthday cards since 2004
When it comes to bug protection, you just can`t beat "OFF!".
Whenever I open my fridge, my dog looks at me with a puzzled look and he thinks: Why don’t you eat all the food?
Sometimes you have got to talk to a 3year old toddler in order to understand the meaning of happiness in life.
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
"I don`t care if you think it sounds gross, that`s what we`re calling it" -Guy who named the sweater.
I need professional help. A chef and a butler will do just fine.
My baby girl is so polite. I told her she needed to share and she said "No, thank you"
Not to brag or anything, but I don`t need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
Trix commercials just teach kids that sharing is bad.
Just got done putting up all the garage sale signs. Hope the neighbor appreciates how much work I put into their surprise garage sale.