Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Love is like Wi-Fi, you can`t see it, but you know when you`ve lost it.
I just did my budget for August. If I don`t buy food ... I won`t need toilet paper. I think I`m on to something here.
If Scientists invent a pill to make us immortal, I guarantee I`d choke to death swallowing it.
Getting out of bed feels like the worst thing that’s ever happened to me ... every time it happens.
Don`t be sad laundry, nobody`s doing me either.
Imagine how fun Pringles would be if the cans were spring-loaded.
Please come see my theatrical dramatization of the history of puns ... It`s a play on words.
wants to come back as a bird after I die.... just so i can sh!t on the people who piss me off.
And yet another year goes by with People magazine failing to recognize my beauty.
How are poor people so good at finding money for tattoos?
My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it`s cause I`m afraid she might try to poison me.
If Tetris has taught me anything it`s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.
I bet wrecking ball operators are some of the happiest people in the world.
If I say sorry I missed you, better look really close the next time you cross the street, I don`t miss twice.
Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?