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Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
The hardest thing about looking for work is the sobriety.
It`s amazing how important someone can make you feel with a smile, a kind word or the occasional stalking.
You`ve got to love yourself. But not in public places.
Everyone knows spray tans and Tang come from the same stem cells as Cheetos, so why does Wikipedia keep deleting my edits?
My doctor asked if any members of you family suffers from insanity, I replied "nope they seem to enjoy it!"
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
Press 1 for someone who probably learned English last month, but is going to try and communicate effectively with you anyway.
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
Yes, I streaked once on a dare ... all the rest of the times though were just for fun
As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald`s Playland ball pit
I`ve spent three hours investigating this chicken and I still can`t find his nuggets.
Facebook should make it to where it says, `Went from being in a relationship` to `Problem solved.`
My dog takes so long to sh!t I can`t believe he`s not out there playing Candy Crush.
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