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The awkward moment when you’re running and your boobs are bouncing …. and you’re a guy.
I just had a conversation with my-self...but it just turned into an argument. I think it`s that time of the month...
Still waiting for a Discovery Channel "How It`s Made" episode on babies.
My favorite thing about marriage is sharing a house with the person most likely to murder me.
Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.
You haven`t truly made it on YouTube until someone recognizes you in the unemployment line and asks for your autograph.
My neighbour has diabetes and now she won`t make me cupcakes anymore, its like bad things always happen to me.
My dentist said that bacon and soda works the same as toothpaste. Friends have said she meant baking soda....but I disagree. :)
Guys would stay home longer if boobs came in a 30 pack.
The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so I can rest medicine didn´t work. I´m going to try 1 bourbon, 1 scotch and 1 beer instead.
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
This relationship is going to be weird if you keep pretending I`m not your boyfriend.
A friend of mine asked if I was coming to her wedding. I said no, I`ll catch the next one. She`s mad at me now.
Due to the rising cost of ammunition I will no longer be able to provide a warning shot. Thanks for your understanding.
Friends are like boobs. Some are real, some are fake