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I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
Most people don`t think I`m as old as I am until they hear me stand up.
The longest yard for me is that space between me and the nacho dip
How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
Someone told me once that to have more confidence during sex, put in a live concert album while doing it. That way, you will hear applause every 3-4 minutes but I did it wrong. Accidentally put in a live concert album and all I heard was laughter!
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time consuming.
Just read a book on quantum evolution. The idea is that quantum mechanics are involved in the process of evolution. I still say go to WalMart and then try to sell me on evolution....
Did you know you can buy live lobsters? Anyway, can I use your shower mine is full of lobsters.
The mailman just delivered an 8-track of Boz Skaggs Greatest Hits. I guess this fulfills my Columbia House obligation.
I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can`t have any more food and I`m never ready for that kind of commitment.
I just made an emergency survival kit. You know, for emergencies. It looks like all my other kits, but don`t be fooled; this one is red and has more liquor.
Arguing in sign language must be a workout.
I`ve got worms !!!! ......... worms in me garden