Daily Silly Status

Your baby looks the same as it did yesterday. Me, commenting on a Facebook picture.

Turning your signal light on once you`ve already changed lanes is just about as useful as offering to help the old lady across the street AFTER she`s already been hit by a school bus full of screaming children. Just sayin`

All I`m saying is one of us is right and the other one is you.

My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the a$$holes asked me to turn it down.

I`m always tempted to yell "Kevin!" mid-flight.

I like Tuesday, it rhymes with Boozeday...

I love therapy sessions because I get to cry for an hour. It usually freaks out my patient, though.

Playing dead on the couch all day in case a bear attacks. That`s not lazy, that`s proactive.

I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, nevermind, you will know who you are soon enough

Swearing releases stress and that`s just one of the f*cking reasons I do it.

2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!

3 Things you need to know: Yes I Have. Yes I Can. Yes I will.

First Ebola case in USA , and the Walking Dead starts next week... brb gonna go buy a crossbow.

I hate it when I open Facebook and miss a week of work.

Just think, there is an entire generation of idiots who will wonder: "Why did they have a hashtag button on landline phones?"