Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m just a few smartphone apps away from never having to talk to anyone again.
I can´t wait until Weight Watchers comes out with a beer.
I donate blood 5 times a year just so I`m less and less related to some of my relatives.
Coffee...Meet your Maker!
It`s a good thing farting isn`t as contagious as yawning.
Sarcasm and orgasm. Two things most people don`t get. Those who do are smiling right now.
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you..
Here`s how I gained 27lbs of muscle in 5 weeks: Lying.
If there were "Box Tops for Education" on cases of beer, my kid`s school would be rich.
You can always count on me to feel you up when you`re feeling down
After a night of heavily drinkin` there`s one thing I can`t stand...and that`s up.
Having a dog around pretty much denies any opportunity to take advantage of the 5 second rule
M?o?n?, T?u?e?s?, W?e?d?, T?h?u?r?s?, Friday !!!!
I wish that life had an option for viewing other available episodes.
If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I would never be bored again.