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If a bra is called an `over the shoulder bolder holder`, then what would you call men underwear? Under the butt nut hut
My coworker`s inspire me to drink on the job.
Iām just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
I`m pretty sure country music singers are all just the same guy wearing different hats.
People are obsessed with the front seat of the car but when you get in a bus, you go straight to the back
Sometimes it`s fun to make fun of yourself. Almost as fun as it is to make fun of others.
I`m not fat. My stomach is in 3D
gave up trying to understand women years ago. Women understand women and they hate each other.
that awkward moment when you`re alone somewhere and trying to take a picture of yourself.
I would never survive a real job because I dont like being told when I can eat lunch...
Screw doing situps...teddy bears don`t and everyone loves them.
The correct term for gluten-free, sugarless, vegan brownies is "compost."
I like to finish other people`s sentences because my version is better.
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.