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Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have booze and snacks in your purse.
I can tell exactly how much someone weighs by how much noise they make when I push them down the stairs.
I do all of my ironing in the dryer.
Our parents always taught us NOT to write on walls... Facebook teaches us differently
*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate...
I wonder how many strangers have stories about me.
"My name is Robert and I support apples." -- Bob for apples
The awkward moment when you set something down for a second and it disappears off the face of the earth.
The lottery is over $400 million. Sorry poor kids, no dinner tonight...
Even if I were taking a dump on the moon someone would walk in and sit down in the stall next to me.
This day is going downhill faster than a wagon full of fat kids!
I`m so broke right now if anybody robbed me they`d just be practicing
My status would be a lot funnier if you could see my back-up dancers.
Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.
gua suka sama kamu