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To all them girls who go out , looking sexy as hell but have boyfriends.......Please continue to do so when you`re married.
"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
Sometimes “Girl`s night out” means she has just taken her bra off
Ever met a boring and stable girl who was good in bed? Exactly.
Coffee, you`re on the bench ... Alcohol suit up!!
It`s only October 3rd and I`ve already beaten the sh!t out of two motion activated skeletons at store entrances.
Heard Justin Bieber got arrested for drag racing. Sure it`s dangerous, but surely it isn`t against the law to run in high heels...
90% of being a dad is yelling about doors being left open while the air conditioning is running.
You never know how little self control you have until they put chips and salsa in front of you at a Mexican restaurant.
Friends would describe me as classy, sassy and a bit smart-assy.
It`s not that I like watching midget porn, it`s just that my phone screen is too small to watch regular porn.
I could spend my day outside, but I`m sure there`s plenty of porn that needs to be rated.
Who called them fake potatoes and not imitaters.
Know what? If they had Neosporin back in 1931, that nasty scar on Frankenstein`s forehead would have been far less noticeable.
I hate fake people...especially the ones at the mall advertising clothes in front of the stores