Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you ever wish you were a monkey? Then if you got mad at someone, you could just fling your poo at them. Problem solved.
They call themselves independent women until furniture needs to be moved
Note To Self: Even if someone really needs it, strangling them is still illegal.
Got suspended from Instagram for going on everyone`s food pics and posting the calories.
Money can buy imitation happiness. I’m cool with that.
I hate it when 18 wheelers blow their horns while Im driving, that sh*t wakes me up!
Head & Shoulders needs to come out with a body spray that will help repel flakey people from my life.
I`d be vegetarian ... if bacon grew on trees.
Hello...
The next time you feel you`re worthless.... just remember.... your organs are worth a LOT of money on the black market.
Since it started raining all my wife has done is look through the stupid window... If it gets any worse, I`ll have to let her in.
COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO!!!!
People say 60 is the new 40 but the cop who just pulled me over doesn`t agree.
Chips have little nutritional value. That’s why you need to eat the whole bag.
Saw a wasp in a spider web and I don`t know who to root for.